Bittersweet
by Hanging by a moment89
Summary: The survivors have been rescued, and Kate has escaped. Two months later Kate turns up at Sawyers doorstep and reveals that she’s pregnant and getting an abortion, before she is captured for the last time. Then, 15 years later, Sawyer’s daughter turns up.
1. Chapter 1

Almost two months.

That's how long they'd been off the damn island.

Not much had changed, at least for Sawyer. They'd all been heroes for a while, but the press had left him alone once he'd made it clear he wanted nothing to do with them. Instead they focused on none other than the doc himself, calling him the "island hero" it made Sawyer sick to think about it. How many times had he turned on the TV to see that basted staring back at him from the screen? The latest interview was practically memorable. Jack had been on the Ellen show and she'd asked him about _her. _

Sawyer had tried to forget Kate when they'd been rescued. They'd gotten close on the island, and he never realised the first night they'd spent together would be their last. They'd asked about her, of course, but somehow or another she'd managed to get away.

He had no idea where the hell she was-but he always wondered. He told himself he was being stupid. She was just another girl, a fling. Just something to occupy him while he was on the island. These lies never worked, deep down, as much as he hated to admit it, he missed her.

But he might as well forget her, because he would never see her again. Hell, for all he knew she could be dead, captured. She might even be staying with the damn Doc himself.

Besides, he could get women if he wanted them-that was certainly no problem. He'd even pulled a few scams, just because he could. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore; at time it amazed him that he hadn't wasted the compo money.

He looked at the clock besides his bed and sighed. 3 AM, he needed sleep. A sudden noise caused him to stir again. He listened intently, and it came again, a loud banging. Jumping out his bed, Sawyer grabbed his gun and rushed downstairs towards the kitchen.

Flicking on the light, he aimed the pistol, but what he saw made his mouth hang open.

Kate was standing in his kitchen.

An awkward silence hung between them, then Kate said quietly, "Hi."

"What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?" Sawyer asked, still startled.

Kate looked at her feet, fiddling with the sleeve of her Jacket. She looked a mess, dirty in torn and ragged clothes. "I was hungry," she said in a small voice. Sawyer just stared at her, mouth still open in amazement; he couldn't believe the women who'd been driving him crazy for two months was actually here.

"why didn't you just ask me for some damn food?" he said at last, walking past the food she'd spilt in the cupboard and pulling open the fridge door.

"Well," she sighed, "first of all-you don't have any food, and second of all," she lowered her voice "you had _company._"

Sawyer heard the hurt in her voice but chose to ignore it. So what if he missed her? She couldn't just turn up and demand him to change his life?

"So what Freckles? I don't remember marrying ya," he sneered, but felt awful as soon as the words left his mouth. Kate looked crestfallen, but brushed the comment aside.

"Are you gonna let me stay?" she asked, her voice firm and business like, but her eyes pleading.

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Of course I am, I ain't gonna turn ya out on the damn street. How long you been here anyway?"

Kate threw him a playful grin. "Two days, you really need to learn to lock your doors Sawyer."

"How much you gonna eat Freckles?" Sawyer asked as Kate devoured the large Pizza.

"I haven't eaten in three days," she told him in between mouthfuls.

"Where you been?" Sawyer asked, interested in where she'd been hiding all this time. Kate threw him a playful grin.

"Everywhere," she said, being as vague as possible. Sawyer sighed, pissed off but knowing he would never get a real answer out of her anyway.

Sawyer watched her intently. She looked almost the same as the last time he'd seen her. Except she'd put on a little weight since then, and she looked a little more tired than the last time-but still the same Kate. The same Freckles, the same grin-the same twinkling eyes. God, he really had missed her.

Kate finished with the pizza, then reached for the second he'd ordered.

"gee freckles-you eatin' for two or something?" Sawyer joked. Kate gave him a strange look before replying.

"I haven't eaten in a while." Sawyer grinned and turned the TV on. Some music show was on, Sawyer recognised one of the men dancing with the women in tiny bathing suits. Behind his, Kate chocked on her slice of pizza.

"Looks like baby nappers doin' alright," Sawyer said, eyebrows raised in amusement. Kate broke into a grin as she caught Sawyer's eye.

"so, where am I gonna sleep?" she asked innocently.

Sawyer grinned as Kate stirred in her sleep. "Mornin' Freckles," she groaned and rolled over on the lounge, pulling her blanket more tightly around her.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, Sawyer checked his watch.

"Two thirty."

Kate groaned louder, it was clear she'd hoped for more sleep. Sawyer on the other hand felt a wave of relief; he'd been waiting since eight this morning for her to wake up. At one point he'd considered waking her up himself, but he'd managed to refrain.

Kate threw the blanket off, so that it landed carelessly on the floor. And with a final groan, staggered to her feet. Now that Sawyer could see her face clearly, he was surprised to see how pale she was. She looked ill, and there were large, dark bags under her eyes.

"You feelin' ok?" he asked.

Kate didn't answer though. She was gripping the side of the couch as if she might fall, biting her bottom lip tightly as if she were afraid to open her mouth.

"Freckles?" He asked, moving towards her. She tried to turn away, but Sawyer pulled her towards him, at the same time, she vomited all over the front of his shirt.

"Sonofabitch!" He shouted quickly. Not at anyone in particular, mostly just at the situation. Kate staggered and he quickly grabbed her, helping her back onto the couch.

"I'm sorry!" she mumbled, trying franticly to mop the mess up. "Sawyer I tried, I…" he gently pushed her hands away, trying his best to keep calm. "It's ok, I'm fine." Kate gave up trying to clean him and lay back. "I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"It's ok," Sawyer told her. He pulled his shirt off and threw it (a little too forcibly) at the wall. Before turning back to her. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Kate told him.

"Bullshit!"

She gave him a small smile as he said the word. Appreciating how worried he was for her. But he could also see something else written in her features-was it fear? Hell, he was a conman; he knew when somebody was lying.

"C'mon Freckles. Own up. Might as well do it sooner rather than later."

Kate rolled her eyes. "It was probably all that Pizza last night." She said, before adding "besides, I've been on the run non stop. I'm just tired, run down." She screwed up her face a little, "sorry about the shirt."

Sawyer found himself grinning, despite the way he smelt at the moment. "Yeah, well…never really liked that one anyway."

Kate seemed to recover miraculously, however, and soon it seemed as if she hadn't been ill at all. Still, she seemed more quiet than usual, more subdued. Sawyer put it down to her being worried about the feuds.

"So, what have you been up to?" asked Kate as she sat down next to Sawyer in the lounge room. "Since you got back?"

Sawyer snorted. "Nothing."

"Oh come on," she rolled her eyes. "You have to have done something? Didn't they have a celebration party?"

"Didn't go." Sawyer told her shortly. He changed the channel of the TV, bored with game show, an announcers voice blared across the room.

"_Katherine Austen is dangerous and should not be approached by anyone. If you know the whereabouts of Katherine, or have any information about her-,"_ Sawyer quickly switched the TV off, but it was way too late. He turned to Kate to see her reaction.

She wasn't looking at him, her eyes were glued to the TV. Slowly, as if it were almost painful, she turned to face him.

"Guess they'd do that sooner or later, huh?" Sawyer hated the way she looked-how much a simple reminder had upset her.

"Stupid Basteds," he said angrily. Kate tried to force a smile but never achieved it. Instead she bit her lip and nodded.

Before he knew what he was doing, Sawyer had leaned forward, and their lips met. After about 30 seconds however, Kate jerked away as if she'd been slapped.

"I can't!"

"Why the hell not?!" Sawyer roared, hurt and confused. Kate looked on the verge of crying. She shook her head and mumbled something Sawyer couldn't decipher. "say that again!" he demanded, desperate to know what was bothering her.

Kate forced herself to look him in the eye. A single tear slid down her face, as she uttered the words Sawyer would never forget. "I'm pregnant."

Sawyer opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He tried again, but nothing.

Kate was staring at him intently now, waiting for a reaction. But Sawyer couldn't muster one. How could he be so stupid? The signs were there! He should have noticed it.

"is it..are you sure…I mean…" he didn't need to finish the sentence. Kate nodded.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Sawyer didn't know why. Hell, it wasn't her fault, still, that didn't stop him from being pissed off.

"So," he said decidedly, trying to put all the pieces together. "You heard about the money I got huh? Guess you thought I'd give you some of it-sneak you out of the country, help you escape? Give you a nice little payout for the baby?" he said suddenly bitter.

Kate threw him a disgusted look. "no!" she said angry as well now. "I didn't come here for money!" she looked utterly outraged.

"Well good!" shouted Sawyer, getting to his feet. "Cos you sure as hell ain't getting any!" And with that he strode away from her, slamming the door behind him.

The door opened slowly, creaking as it did so. Kate came out of the darkness, eyes red and puffy, backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Thanks," she mumbled, refusing to look him in the eye, she turned to leave, but suddenly stopped. "I, I wanted to tell you." She said, turning around. "I thought you should know. that's all Sawyer." She sounded so sad, so betrayed. But he hadn't betrayed her-had he?

"Wait!" he cried suddenly as she turned to leave.

"what, I mean…what's gonna happen to the kid?" he asked quietly. He'd been thinking about it for hours. He sure as hell couldn't imagine himself as a dad. He couldn't imagine him and kate as a normal happy couple. But as much as he couldn't imagine himself as any of those things, a heavy amount f guilt was weighing upon them. He knew it was selfish, but he wished Kate had never told him.

Kate now looked him in they eye. "I can't keep it," she told him, confirming his worst fears. She seemed to be trying hard to hold the tears back, but had already failed. "What kind of a life would it have Sawyer?" she chocked. "Always on the run-or stuck in some social services place. It just…it wasn't meant to be."

"You can't!" he said, desperate now. "Can't you just…can't you.." but a plan failed him.

"Can't I just do what?" Kate challenged him. Hours ago he'd yelled at her because of this issue, but now he wanted to change things? "Sawyer I'm a criminal-I can't just drop everything and look after a baby. I," her voice began to break, "I can't do that!"

"I'll look after the damn kid!" he yelled, frustrated, but Kate shook her head.

"I've made my choice Sawyer."

And she left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Years later Sawyer still hadn't forgotten her. Sometimes he'd sit on his porch and wonder how things might have been. If only she'd had let him help, if only _they_ hadn't found her, over a year later since she'd left him all alone. He'd wanted to visit her, to ask how she was going, but he never could. He couldn't stand to see her like that. Like some animal in a cage. Just the thought of it sent him mad, thinking of her locked up like that. So instead he continued life as if it had never happened. A little sadder, a little angrier, but still the same. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't change, it was too late now.

And yet even after all this time, almost 15 years, he could not help but wonder about her, _miss_ her. She was the only person he'd even known who'd _got _him.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Now who the hell could that be? He'd gotten out of conning a while back, and wasn't seeing anyone. He was almost a hermit now, he guessed. Only going out to buy food, or to the local pub for a drink. He didn't want anything to do with nobody. Sighing he shouted out "coming!" as more knocks followed. However they were, they were impatient.

"yeah?" he drawled as he swung the door open.

It was Kate.

Or at least it looked like her. Same hair, same smile. Damn, even the same freckles. But this girl was younger, she looked around 14. And her eyes weren't green like Kate's, but a bright blue. He also noticed two distinct and familiar looking dimples in each cheek.

"Hi," she said in a confident tone. God, she even _sounded_ like Kate.

Sawyer didn't answer. He just stared, trying to comprehend what he was seeing because it couldn't possibly be true. Kate had said she was getting rid of the baby, there was no way she could have kept it! But there was no other explanation. His daughter was standing on his doorstep.

"Can I uh, come in?" she asked, undaunted by his shook.

"Sure," Sawyer found himself saying, stepping aside in numb disbelief as she came in. They walked down the hall and sat down at the kitchen Table, Sawyer grabbed a beer. He was sure he was going to need one.

"I guess you know who I am then?" the girl asked almost a little cheekily, eyeing Sawyer with a small smile as he took a large sip from the can. He barely just managed to nod.

"The doctor told me where to find you, helped me out." She said quickly. "who?" grunted Sawyer, but he already had a feeling he knew who the 'doctor' was.

"The doctor, Jack." The girl relied. Sawyer frowned at the sheer memory of Jack and the girl smiled. "I guess you didn't like him then?" she asked.

"I hated that basted." Sawyer said a bluntly, no way he was gonna buttercup it for her.

The girl smiled at him, and Sawyer had to look away because he was so reminded of Kate. "What's so funny?" he growled. "mom told me you hated him."

'mom' the word sounded so strange, especially when it applied to Kate. "Mom?" he said a little hoarsely. "You seen Kate?"

The girl nodded her head. "Yeah. Mom also said you wouldn't be expecting me." Sawyer felt a lump form in the back of his throat, but he ignored it as his daughter continued. "When I found who she was, and I went to see her-in the prison," she paused. "She explained a lot to me. She, she talked a lot about you. She said you wouldn't be expecting me."

"She was right," said Sawyer, finishing off his beer.

"She seemed nice."

"She was." He agreed, before he hastily corrected himself. "she _is_."

There was an awkward pause, before Sawyer asked slowly.

"She ok?"

The girl shrugged. "I guess, I mean….she seemed ok." She smiled at him, flashing her dimples that were almost identical to his. "She talked about you a lot. She misses you a lot…. I think you should visit."

"She say that?" asked Sawyer, worried. The girl shook her head.

"No, I did." The stubborn gaze she cast at him was so familiar he almost felt himself cringe.

"I'll put it on my list." He made his best effort to sound sarcastic.

Another pause.

"I should probably leave," the girl said quickly. "My foster parents-they'd kill me if they knew I was here. They don't even know I visited mom. I guess they'd freak out, think I'll get ideas." she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Sawyer laughed. "How'd you find out about Kate?" he asked, he couldn't bring himself to say "your mom."

"you looked at me?" she asked, helping herself to some fruit off his table. "I was doing a project at school on the crash, and when I saw photo of her-and you, it kind of spelled itself out."

"What your parent's say?" he asked.

"They have no idea I know. And I don't think they even _know_. They'd probably freak out if they knew my real mom was a convict."

"So why you here?" Sawyer shot at her suddenly, "I ain't got no money so don't bother askin'."

She raised her eyebrows commercially. "By the looks of this place, you ain't spend the 6 million compo. But I ain't here for money."

"Then why are you here?" he asked suspiciously. He didn't trust anyone.

"Cos you're my dad."

The words seemed to render him speechless. "I ain't no dad." he said.

"It was your sperm that did the damage." she pointed out bluntly.

Sawyer actually chocked on the beer her was drinking. "I mean I ain't raised ya." he scorned between coughs.

"Yeah well I wanted to meet you." Sawyer couldn't help but feel some kind of warmth from these words. The fact that she _wanted _to know him, to have sought him out when he'd been alone for so long, was in some strange way amazing.

"I better go." she said suddenly, checking her watch. "If I miss the bus I'll have to walk."

Should he offer her a ride? Sawyer pondered, but he passed the thought hastily by as he walked her to the door. That's when he realised something.

"Hey what's your name?"

She laughed. "Alice." she called out, before swinging the door shut behind her and waving goodbye.

* * *

That was _why_ she got caught, sawyer told himself later that night as he tossed and turned but found no sleep. Kate had always been too good, in his mind anyway, to get caught so easily. It must have been because of Alice. Because she'd decided to keep Alice. _His_ daughter Alice.

The weeks passed and Sawyer could not stop thinking about Alice or Kate, they were never far from his mind. He even wondered, dare he say-hoped that Alice might come and visit some time again soon.

He'd lived most of his life alone now. He was too bitter, too self-loathing and stuck in his old ways to ever to commit to another person, too selfish. Besides he'd never really loved anybody, never really cared about anybody other than himself.

But he'd cared for Kate, he couldn't hide that from himself. In some twisted way she _got _him. And he got her. There was so much of them in each other, even when they refused to ignore it. And back on he island, when there was no one to turn and nobody who understood-it was just them.

Even when the fought-pissed each other off and refused to back down, these disagreements had always been quickly overlooked. Not necessarily forgiven, but that hadn't mattered. They'd craved company. Craved for someone who understood.

In fact, as crazy as it sounded, the island was one of the few happy memories Sawyer had. But that was all over. He was here, and Kate was rotting away in prison. He knew she would never get out. God, how he hated those basteds. He deserved to be in prison more than Kate did.

"_She misses you a lot…. I think you should visit." _Alice's words getting repeating themselves over and over. But how could he visit? It'd been over 10 years since they last seen each other. And even then they'd finished on a bad note. Kate leaving in tears, pregnant and alone. What was he supposed to do? Waltz in their and say "Hey Freckles hows it goin'? what've you been up to? By the way I just met our daughter you forget to mention we have." He'd been in prison, he knew what it was like.

He shouldn't have let her go that night. He should of convinced her to stay, hell forced her to stay. What an asshole he'd been. He couldn't have at least given her some money, gotten her out of the country. He could have given her a fcking chance.

Sighing he reached into his pocket and took the old worn letter. It was ripped and dirty now. Almost falling apart. Slowly, like he always did when he was in a bad mood, he began to read it.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Sawyer woke to a loud blaring noise. It sounded like the TV was on downstairs. But he sure as hell hadn't left it on. Instantly propelled into a bad mood. He got to his feet. If some basted was in his house, he sure as hell would make them sorry for it.

But as he neared the person sitting on the lounge he realised exactly who it was.

Alice.

"what the hell are you doing here!" He bellowed, furious. Alice jumped and turned to look at him, perplexed by his bad mood.

"The door was open." she said.

Sawyer was trying very hard to control his temper, but it wasn't working.

"And what the hell makes you think you can just stroll in here and watch my TV without even askin?" he said through gritted teeth.

Alice glared at him through narrowed eyes. "Nobody answered when I knocked. And you were _asleep_."

"Yeah, maybe cos this is my house and I do what ever the hell _I _want. And you know what I _don't _want? Strangers like you trespassing!" Sawyer finished the last sentence with in venomous tone. Almost immediately Alice's face fell. Sawyer felt a stab of guilt and, but ignored it. She had no right to trespass on his property.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled. "I..I had a fight with my parents."

If that sentence was meant to explain why she was siting in front of him, Sawyer totally misread it. "And what the hell does that have to do with me?" he asked.

Alice didn't reply. Was this something Father's were just meant to understand? Well, he didn't understand it at all.

"You hungry?" he asked, trying not to sound as pissed off as he was. The last thing he wanted was her crying.

She shook her head.

"Thirsty?"

Another no. Then what the hell did she want?

"Well alrighty then." Said Sawyer. "I'm going back to bed. Lock the door on your way back out Houdini."

"Wait!" cried Alice. "You're gonna go back to bed?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. What's your problem?"

"It's 1:30."

Sawyer sighed, and ignoring this turned to go back upstairs.

"You don't have a job?"

Damn. How many questions was she gonna ask?

"And why would I need to have job?" he asked, feeling his temper beginning to flare up again.

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Some people like jobs."

Sawyer snorted. "Some people are idiots." Once again he made for the staircase.

"Wait!"

Taking a deep breath Sawyer sighed. "What is it?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Aren't you gonna like….talk to me and stuff." she asked, "like you know. Daughters and dads. Didn't your dad do stuff with you?"

This was the last straw for Sawyer. He knew Alice had no idea about his father, or how the mention of him might set him off. But the anger that had been welling up inside of him was way past boiling point now.

"You know what?" He shouted, spinning around and striding towards her so they were only inches apart. "My daddy never got to do anything with me. You know what he did do though? He shot my mother in the front hall, right before he shot himself in front of _me_! So if you had some sort of daddy, kiddie thing in mind. I hate to disappoint you sweetheart but I don't know any of those things."

He expected her to cry, but she didn't. Instead she glared at him with those blue eyes, just glared and said nothing. It was a gesture that shocked him. Something that Kate might have done in a fight of theirs-and it pissed him off even more. By the time he got back to the comfort of his bed, he'd already heard the front door slam as she'd left his house.

* * *

Someone was in the room with him, Sawyer sensed it rather than felt it. Slowly, almost painfully he forced himself to open his eyes. The world was blurred, but instinctively he knew exactly what the shape at the end of his bed was.

"Kate?" he asked in amazement. She was sitting cross legged, a huge grin plastered across her face. She was wearing the orange T-shirt and jeans she had worn so often on the island. Her hair was tied up loosely in a ponytail behind her head, a few loose strands hanging out as always. She looked just as Sawyer had remembered her from the island, in fact-she hadn't aged a day.

"Hey Sawyer." Her eyes were twinkling with amusement and her mouth was curled into a smile.

"What the hell's so funny?" Sawyer asked groggily. Kate laughed. However, she didn't answer, instead she got to her feet, jumped off the bed and walked briskly away.

"Hey wait up Freckles!" Sawyer shouted, throwing off the covers and racing after her. "Where you going?" he raced through the door and found to his absolute amazement he was on the island again. Except something was wrong. All the tents were there, the bits of wreckage being used for this and that-but no people.

"Hey, Kate! Hey!" he called, his voice echoing in around him. No answer. He shouted, louder, but still no reply. He found himself wandering the familiar trails again, surprised he'd remembered them so easily. Everything was so familiar, it was strange. He felt almost content back there on the island, just walking through the jungle.

He came across the waterfall again, and she was there, laughing and splashing around in the water with someone. He felt a sudden flare of irritation, and the first name that came to mind was Jack. However on further inspection he realised it wasn't Jack, but Alice.

"Dad!" she shouted when she saw him, and Sawyer was astounded when she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. "What took you so long."

Sawyer didn't answer. "Come on!" she whined, taking hold his hand. "Mums waiting for you."

Kate laughed again and splashed Sawyer playfully from the water. Going along with it, Sawyer ripped his T-shirt off and joined her. Kate grinned and tugged him towards her, trying hard to dunk him, but he overpowered her and dunked her instead. She surfaced, gasping for breathe and lunged at him playfully. They were so close, their noses almost touching. Sawyer wanted to kiss her more than anything else in the world at that moment….

But a loud unnatural sound caused Kate's head to snap around. It was a siren, a police siren, the sound was unmistakable.

Kate didn't move, she was frozen in fear, Sawyer could see the terror in her eyes.

"They've found me!" She chocked.

"What-_no_!" he pulled at her, tugged her though the water, urging her to get away, but Kate resisted.

"It's too late."

"What the hell are you on about? We can still make it!" He hissed desperately, he turned around and shouted at Alice for help, but she simply shook her head.

"It's too late," she said, her voice calm but full of sadness. "You can't get away now."

"Come on!" shouted Sawyer, he tugged furiously, but Kate seemed impossible to move. The sirens were louder now, so loud he couldn't even hear the sound of crashing water from the falls behind him.

"Come on!" he gave one last futile tug, before blue and red lights blinded him.

Sawyer woke to the sound of a real siren, but it was far away. Panting hard from his nightmare, Sawyer leaned over and checked the time. It was 3 AM.

Groaning he sank back into the covers. The dream was still fresh in his mind, a dream-that was _all_ it had been. He tried to make sense of it, but like most dreams he seemed to be forgetting it already.

He couldn't go back to sleep now, not with Kate on his mind. He wondered what she was doing now. Sleeping, most probably. Or was she awake? Was she lying in her bed, maybe woken by one of her own nightmares. Was she wondering where he was right now? Did she ever think about him-or the island?

Sighing, he tried to push all that out of his mind and went back to sleep.

When Sawyer woke at last, he discovered much to his fury, there was no food in the house. This happened regularly, as he had no fixed shopping day, but it still pissed him off just as much each time it did happen. Cursing loudly, he found a clean shirt and walked outside to his truck.

Sawyer hated shopping, and therefore always tried to rush it, however, the more he tried to rush the longer it seemed to take.

He'd just finished cursing over the washing powder-he had no idea which one to buy when he heard someone giggle behind him.

He swung round, ready to give them a mouthful-until he saw who it was.

Alice grinned, maybe a little nervously. She was standing there, a little way off from a group of girls who Sawyer were her friends.

"What the hells so funny?" he growled, a little subdued by her presence. She smiled at him, it was like their fight had been forgotten.

"Do you want some help or not?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"I don't need help!" Sawyer scoffed. But she didn't move. He sighed. "Fine. Tell me which one of these damn things I need to buy."

She took her time looking through them, before choosing one and handing it to Sawyer. When she saw his expression, she quickly changed it for a lower priced item.

"Hey Alice, C'mon!" Sawyer turned to see her friends waiting for her, and throwing strange looks at him in the process.

"I'll catch up with you in a second guys!" Alice called, her friends exchanged looks before moving off.

"So." she said a little nervously, turning back to look at Sawyer. "I was thinking … I'm in the school play tomorrow night. My parents aren't going, but I thought maybe…" her voice trailed off.

"You want me to watch your play?" Sawyer asked sceptically. Alice shrugged. "If you want to. Here." She handed him what looked like an invitation. "I was gonna stick it in your mailbox later today, but since you're here …" she paused, before adding quickly. "You don't have to come if you don't want to. I won't mind." she gave him a small smile, before racing off to find her friends.

Sawyer looked at the invitation in his hand for "Annie Jr.'and felt guilty. He couldn't possibly go, he just _couldn't_, she hadn't sounded that hopeful anyway. It wasn't like she expected him to go.

* * *

It took Sawyer a while to work out who Alice actually was in the play. He was uncomfortable, sitting there with all the other families. He still had no idea why he'd given into the idea and gone, but he had anyway. He'd tried to get a seat at the back, figuring not many people would be up there, but he was wrong-the place was packed. He'd now found himself squashed in between two families. He was glad when the play started at last.

It turned out Alice had the role of 'Grace.' And Sawyer was surprised at how well she played it. Boy, could she sing. He found himself wondering vaguely if she had inherited this from Kate. He'd never heard Kate sing, but no one on his side of the family was any good, that was for sure.

He quickly found himself trying to catch her eye throughout the play, and when he at last succeeded, he saw her face break into a huge smile, before she quickly concentrated on what to do next.

After about two hours the play ended and people began to leave. Sawyer however, stayed put. He'd be damned if he was going to push and shove just to get outside to the car park.

He took out a cigarette and began to smoke it.

"That's not allowed."

He turned to see Alice standing beside him. Damn-how'd she sneak up on him like that? She was staring at him intently, dressed in normal clothes now, all her stage makeup had been washed off.

"You gonna stop me?" he challenged. She sat down beside him without answering.

"Thanks." she said at last. The tone of her voice startled Sawyer. She sounded like she was going to cry. "I didn't expect you to turn up." she said thickly.

Sawyer wasn't sure what to say or do. He was suddenly frightened she might cry. Hell, he couldn't handle that.Why'd girls have to get so emotional over the littlest things?

"Yeah, well….you did good."

"Thanks." there was a long, drawn out silence, until at last Sawyer broke it.

"Wanna get something to eat?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Sawyer hadn't realised how much kids talked until now. Alice hadn't shut up since they'd sat down in the dinner.

"You gonna eat that or not?" he asked, gesturing to the cheeseburger he'd brought her.

"In a minute." she answered. O_r not. T_hought Sawyer, thinking about the money he'd wasted. Then an idea came to him.

"Soooooo, Parrot." he drawled.

Alice scrunched up her face like she'd smelt something bad. "Parrot?"

"Yeah, cos you talk so damn much."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Anyways," Sawyer said, continuing, "that boy you kissed in the play, what's his name?"

Alice instantly went red. "It was just _acting_." she said defensively.

"Oh really?" asked Sawyer with a knowing grin. "Didn't seem like that to me."

"We're just friends!" Alice was getting agitated now.

"Really?" Sawyer raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Cos you sure seemed to enjoy that kiss Parrot. Hell, I think I might have even seen a little bit of tongue in there."

Alice looked repulsed. "You're gross!" she declared, still bright red.

"Well?" asked Sawyer, "what's his name?"

"You're gross." Alice repeated, quickly taking a bite of her cheeseburger so she wouldn't have to talk. Sawyer smiled victoriously. Maybe he hadn't wasted money on food after all.

* * *

"I guess you'll need a ride home." Sawyer said as they walked out of the diner afterwards.

Alice shook her head sadly. "No, my mums at some business party and dads working late." she looked up at him hopefully. "Do you think I could go to your place? Just for a few hours!"

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Don't ya think you're pushing you're luck just a little bit?" Alice looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Please! There's a really great movie on tonight we can watch!" Sawyer sighed, he knew he was defeated. "Gte In." He grumbled, opening the truck door for her.

It turned out the movie wasn't that great. Alice fell asleep halfway through it.. Sawyer turned the TV off and contemplated waking her, but for some reason decided not to. Instead he found a Blanket and threw it over her so she wouldn't get cold, wondering how he ever got into this mess. Before he headed upstairs and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning she was gone. Instead there was a note which read "See you soon Grumpy."

"Damn Kid," Sawyer muttered as he made himself some toast.

* * *

Alice was surprised at how easy it was to fool her parents. When they'd asked where she was, she'd told them she'd gone to Sarah's to celebrate how the play how gone, and had ended up sleeping over. At this Mrs. Harris had smiled.

"I'm sure you were great as Grace," she'd said fondly, "I wish I could have been there."

"Next time Kiddo." Her dad had added. "Promise."

Alice doubted this, but for once she didn't mind. At least her parents being gone all the time meant it was easy for her to sneak out to visit Kate and Sawyer.

The phone rang and Mr. Harris practically ran for it. After a hurried conversation he hung up the phone. "That was Gary," he announced, "He says he's 95 percent sure I'll get that promotion that's been coming up." he beamed as Mrs. Harris congratulated him. "You know what that means kiddo?" he asked Alice. She shook her head. "A holiday. A _long_ one."

That weekend the house was empty by 7:30, even though it wasn't a weekday. Alice didn't mind though, today she was going to visit Kate, her real mom.

She arrived at the prison by 9:30. None of the officers were surprised at her visits by now.

"Hey mom." she said, hugging Kate. It felt weird to call her 'Mom' but it felt weirder to call her Kate. There were only a few other people visiting today, they were all sitting around on the benches, the room surrounded by four guards. It was uncomfortable, but Alice was getting used to it.

"Hey." Kate hugged her tightly, smiling as she sat down. "What have you been up to?"

Alice shrugged. "Nothing much. We preformed the play the other night … Dad came and watched."she added, wondering if she should mention it at all.

Kate's face broke into a rare smile. "See," she said quietly. "I told you one of you're parents would make it."

Alice shook her head. "No." she said slowly, avoiding eye contact. "I mean….Sawyer."

It was like someone had slapped Kate. She just froze. A wave of sadness passed over her. Alice could see it in her eyes, her eyes that were even sadder than usual.

"You saw Sawyer?" she whispered, not looking up from the table.

"Yeah, he says hi." Alice lied quickly, wishing she hadn't mentioned his name. Kate didn't respond. "He seems nice." Alice added. Still no reply.

"5 more minutes people!" One of the guards called.

"You better go." Kate said. She stood up and gave Alice a hug. Not just any hug, the kind of hug a person gives you when they think they might not see you again, when you know there going to be missing you.

"I'll come back." Alice whispered, a little overwhelmed by this. "I promise." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, trying hard not to cry as Kate watched her leave.

* * *

"There you are, letting yourself in again." Sawyer drawled from the lounge as Alice barged into his house. When she didn't answer he got up and walked over to her.

"Hey you get in trouble from you're parents or something?" he asked. She was sitting at the kitchen table, and as he got closer he could tell she'd been crying-and was trying hard to keep it together now.

"Hey," he said concerned, "what's wrong? You're parents yell at you or something?" he realised he had no idea what to say.No one had ever taught him this, and he had few memories of hearts to hearts from his brief time with his parents.

"It's not fair." Alice mumbled, giving him her attention at last. "It's not fair."

Sawyer had no idea what she was on about. "What's not fair?" he asked.

"Mom." Alice said slowly. "I went to visit her today and-and-," she burst into tears.

Sawyer panicked. He had no idea how to deal with this. "Hey, hey…" he mumbled, trying to be soothing. And suddenly Alice was hugging him. Sawyer had no idea what to do, he couldn't handle something like this. It was just too much. He wasn't even meant to be a father, none of this should have ever happened. She should never have come. Before he realised what he was doing, he pushed her off.

She looked startled for a moment, but quickly covered it up and settled herself down.

"Now what's wrong?" he asked sharply, feeling ashamed of himself for pushing her away. "Is Kate alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah." she said a little hoarsely. "It's just, she….she doesn't belong there!" she was angry now, almost furious. "She shouldn't be there! It's not fair! How come we can't get her out? Why can't they just let her go?"

Sawyer was a little taken back by this fit of rage. He'd expected her to start crying again in the very least. Hell, she was even picking up his bad habits now, getting angry when she should have been sobbing.

"Yeah, well what can I say? Their basteds!" he exclaimed angrily. "And there ain't nothing I can do! Or I would have done it already. So don't come here crying to me!"

"I didn't ask you to do anything!" Alice shouted back.

"Yeah, well good!" Sawyer roared. He grabbed hold of one of the kitchen chairs and sent it flying across the room. He wasn't sure what had gotten him into such a rage, but at the moment he didn't care.

"'I hate you!" shouted Alice. She hadn't even flinched when he'd thrown the chair. "You know that? I hate you. You're an insensitive Prick!" and with that she stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

Furious at her, himself and the entire situation, Sawyer grabbed the whole Kitchen table and upturned it.


End file.
